5 Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your Teen
Your teenager has grown a little in relation to the psychic, but he doesn’t have the ability to act correctly at this stage. Not fitting in with reality in certain contexts can make things even more complicated. It’s possible that your child will find himself in a limbo where he doesn’t like being with children or adults.
Of course, there is no parenting manual. Nobody knows clearly what to do so that there are no mistakes or mistakes. In the case of teenagers, it is necessary to be very subtle when speaking, advising or reprimanding. In this difficult phase, we can cause big problems just by using the wrong words.
How to talk to a teenager?
When talking to your teenager, it ‘s wise to consider the way and tone in which you tell him things, especially if it’s a suggestion. Although he doesn’t express it openly, a teenager feels that by being older he has lost certain benefits from his parents . So he will try to get our attention firmly, which can irritate us.
It is normal to some extent a generalized negative behavior that occurs as a result of an adaptation process. In this process, adult and child characteristics stand out . Each change that occurs in a teenager provokes a different reaction in each one of them. But with a specific origin: the ignorance of what they feel.
In this sense, it is useful to be more understanding. Even when we despair of their attitudes, we have to avoid rebuking their mistakes, making comparisons and saying they are children. If the child has reached adolescence, he will not want to be treated like a child, nor is he an adult to be treated severely.
We often feel like we’re wasting time because we can’t talk to them without ending up in an argument or a difficult time. This is because your teenager is already starting to differentiate between what is right and what is wrong, but from their own perspective.
Therefore, it is advisable to avoid statements that emphasize your lack of understanding or that highlight your intransigence, such as “I can’t talk to you” or “How troublesome you are”.
5 Things A Teen Shouldn’t Hear From You
It is possible that, many times, due to fear or fatigue of confrontations, we, parents, overlook some behaviors or attitudes that are relevant and can become constant. However, you need to know that repression generally does not have a positive effect on people, especially your teenager.
Therefore, being repressive often causes the increase of rebellion and the need to get things your way. In addition, you need to pay attention to their behavior and show that we are willing to listen to them and let them express themselves in their own way.
While there are times when it is required, avoid being harsh and keep in mind the following tips for not saying these five things.
1. “Your tastes are weird just like your friends”
If teenagers’ tastes are foreign to us, it’s an indication that they ‘re succeeding in their mission to get attention. Also, maybe it’s something that’s different for adults, but for them it’s fashion or style that defines them.
Although you may find these tastes, the way you dress or the friends strange, you need to accept and be receptive, because it is important to your child. However, it is advisable to be aware that he does not have harmful behaviors.
2. “You don’t do anything worthwhile”
It’s not nice for a teenager or anyone else to have their ability to do something underrated; however, we tend to be very strict about the lack of collaboration or assertiveness to finish certain tasks. It is inappropriate to label children useless or force them to take on responsibilities that are not within their reach.
It is also not advisable for us to emphasize that he needs to learn or study in order to “be someone in life” because he already is. On the contrary, we can help and guide decisions for children to become professionals or to have some occupation.
3. “Every day I have to repeat the same thing”
Avoid annoying them with repeated sermons that we already know don’t have the desired effect. It’s a good idea to change the pattern and adapt to a different perspective on things. We must try to gain the trust of our children with actions that they perceive, without impositions and with flexibility in the answers.
There are ways to be able to work as a team and give each other an opportunity to come to agree on some things. Once the rules are clear, it is more likely that the intended goals will be achieved.
4. “You can’t do/say/go…”
Prohibitions are the “kryptonite” of teenagers whenever we put limits on their expression and weaken their emotions. In the same way, judging, criticizing and saying that it is forbidden to be as you are, provokes the desire to contradict and causes this unwanted behavior to increase.
5. “Don’t go where you’re not called”
Telling your teenager that their opinion is not valid is a big mistake. Perhaps we can say in a moment of anger. But it’s something that can have a very negative effect on them. If the teenager already feels censored, using expressions that are aggressively charged is a reason to embarrass him and lower his confidence.
