How Do You Know If A Child Needs To Be Heard?
It is often not easy to know when a child needs to be heard. Yes, we are her parents and we know her better than anyone most of the time, but it is necessary to remember that we are also human beings. Therefore, there may be times when it is more difficult to detect certain barely noticeable signals.
It’s normal to miss out on some details in our lives and even in our closest relationships.
This doesn’t mean that we lack interest or that we aren’t wired enough to figure things out. It is simply not possible to ‘control’ everything.
children’s signs
From the first years of life, children feel a great curiosity about the world around them, which is why they ask questions in order to understand and make sense of reality. As parents, we are there to guide your learning process.
When a child cannot satisfy his need to communicate and raise issues spontaneously, or when he feels he is not getting the attention he wants, he may become withdrawn.
This can affect its development, from several points of view, among which the following stand out:
- By not asking questions, she will feel apathetic and will lose confidence in both herself and her surroundings, and this can promote great insecurity.
- If she decides to look elsewhere for answers, she may not look for the most appropriate people and places. So, she can be much more exposed to the various dangers of society.
Irritability and frustration are the most obvious signs that a child is not satisfied with something. Introversion, on the other hand, poses a greater challenge since it is presented in a broad gray scale.
In many cases, changes in behavior are barely noticeable, so you need to know how to pay attention. But, above all, it is necessary to learn to approach us gently so that the child is encouraged to express himself.
Why does a child need to be listened to?
Listening to a child is more than listening. It means establishing deep and lasting communication with the child. It’s to nurture their self-confidence and strengthen the bond between them.
It is also about going beyond the norms of a good speaker and a good listener, appreciating variations in the tone of voice. In short, it is listening beyond words.
It is important not to limit children’s listening time so that they can have a healthy and happy psycho-emotional development.
This will be reflected in several aspects of your life, one of them being good self-esteem. In addition, active listening will encourage the closeness and unity of the family.
The 3 needs involved
1. Security
Your child needs to be sure that you love and understand him. So when he expresses some concern, you should be willing to take the time to listen to him.
This will help him not only trust you, but also build healthy relationships with others.
2. Affection
A child needs not only to be listened to, but also to feel loved and cared for.
Therefore, it is important for parents to let them know they are loved. And since love is, among its many gestures, listening, it is necessary to devote time to it.
3. Attention
Paying attention to children should never be an added burden on our daily list. Therefore, it is always possible to reserve some time to attend to what is really important in human interaction and, especially, in the relationship between parents and children.
It’s important that you pay attention when a child talks to you. Although her problems seem ‘small’ to us, we should value what she expresses to provide both good support and proper guidance.
After she has finished speaking, you can ask a few questions to show that what she said is important and that you want to help her.
Recommendations
When a child needs to be listened to, it is necessary to act with affection and not force things in order to prevent him from getting scared and moving away.
Therefore, we are going to give you some recommendations so that you know how to act:
- Get close to the child and put yourself on their level.
- Pay full attention to what the child says.
- Look into the eyes.
- Try not to interrupt while she’s talking and don’t rush to conclusions.
- Ask yourself if you are really listening.
- Put yourself in her shoes.
- Pay attention not only to the child’s words, but also to their gestures, expressions and silences.
- Take care of your body language : don’t cross your arms or legs, try to maintain a relaxed posture, nod your head and express affection when appropriate, whether it’s a back rub or a hug.
Movies on this theme
- I Kill Giants (2017).
- Seven Minutes After Midnight (2016).
- So Strong and So Close (2011).
What if she doesn’t want to talk?
Maybe at first she doesn’t want to talk about what’s going on. And even less if it’s a problem. In these circumstances, it is necessary to be patient and, even if she does not want to talk, we must always be attentive.
By asking directly if something is going on, if the child doesn’t say anything, you can simply offer your company and assure her that when she is ready, you will be there to listen and help.
Often, the company provides a first very favorable comfort when it comes to overcoming the difficulties. So when your child needs to be heard, the first thing you should do is let him know that you are there both physically and emotionally.
