Jealousy In Children: How To Deal With It?

The subject of jealousy requires a keen understanding, especially when it comes to children. It is difficult for everyone to understand the motives of a person who is jealous, because you have to be in their shoes to understand. But in the case of children, some things are clearer.

We don’t know the times when a child can be jealous, but it’s harder for him to hide this feeling. However, the problem is not recognizing the children’s frustration at not getting the attention they want, but the inability we normally present to do the right thing.

It turns out that in children, in most cases, jealousy is unfounded. But it’s hard to explain to them how things happen. The causes of jealousy are multiple, however, the most common cause is the fight for the parents’ love, being more frequent in relation to the siblings and the parents’ partner or partner.

How to deal with jealousy in children?

It’s a problem not knowing how to act in these cases, but it can be remedied if we listen carefully to the experts’ recommendations. There are useful strategies to intervene and guide children who are jealous. However, the first thing to do is to look at ourselves.

To deal with this situation, it is advisable to apply the following recommendations:

• Know the causes of jealousy.
• Assess the child’s previous attitude, how it evolved according to age.
• Act fairly and consistently.
• Avoid comparisons, unnecessary praise or constant disapproval.
• Leave the displays of affection for the times when the child takes positive action and not during the tantrums.

• Communicate properly with children, without shouting or scolding, firmly explaining that certain behavior is wrong.
• Promoting closer ties with the sibling or the person she is jealous of. Do this without haste, with patience and tolerance, especially through activities that the child enjoys.
• It is very important to be able to discern when it is justifiable behavior and when it is the product of a child ‘s imagination or invention. To achieve this balance, it is necessary to evaluate our attitude, without underestimating our children’s opinions and demands.
• Make it clear at all times that we love our children, because children do not know how to recognize the actions we do on their behalf out of love. Feeding them, paying their expenses, or offering them a home is not synonymous with love.

Main mistakes made by parents when faced with their children’s jealousy

It’s very important for parents to respect their children’s feelings, but we sometimes make mistakes in the way we act when their emotions show up. If we can identify that what the child is feeling is jealousy, we can try to guide rather than repress, talk rather than yell, and offer understanding rather than punish.

In part of the cases, the problem is in the way the parents act. It is possible that with our behavior we are causing jealousy in children, but also our attitude is causing this emotion to intensify.

Although jealousy is part of subjectivity, we must avoid underestimating children’s feelings. It is mandatory to reflect on whether it is necessary to modify our behavior, even if we are not yet in this situation.
Among the main mistakes we make in these cases are:

• Verbally accuse children of envy or resentment. Sometimes the words are harder than any slap. For a child, it is never pleasant to be judged by parents without being heard.
• Not recognizing when we are acting wrong. Sometimes we prefer to leave the responsibility for feelings to the child, we say he is wrong, and we don’t look at ourselves.
• Minimize the child’s manifestations of frustration. Neglecting these problems can have serious consequences in aspects such as the personality, adaptation and self-esteem of the little ones.

• Ignoring to let the moment pass is fine, but permanently ignoring this issue is serious, as is punishing, scolding, or reprimanding children. In this sense, if the little one was already worried about the lack of attention, now he will have practically confirmed this thought
• Pay attention at the least appropriate time, such as when children are in the midst of a jealousy crisis. It’s important to wait until they calm down.

Although the appearance and manifestation of this feeling are normal, it is problematic when it is something prolonged or intensified, leading to problems of personal maladjustment and damage to the family relationship.

It is advisable to act with promptness to avoid the heightened level of emotions. Intervention at home, with love and communication, always brings good results.

However, sometimes it is necessary to consult specialists, because sometimes the causes that determine the explosion of jealousy are obvious, but there are cases where there are no real reasons.

It is necessary to recognize when jealousy is normal and justifiable in some way. Otherwise, we could be talking about more serious problems.