No Screaming. Consequences And Alternatives

It has been argued for many years that it is not necessary to physically attack children in order to discipline them. Saying no to the screams and screams should be a motto aimed at strengthening the relationship between parents and children. Currently, verbal violence is a dangerous alternative that can even bring legal consequences.

Often, both parents and children express themselves through shouting, mainly with the aim of showing irritation for not being able to exert total control over the other. However, losing patience and getting carried away by the emotions of the moment is harmful for everyone. In addition, it encourages the child to take a defensive position or repeat the same attitude.

We’re not talking about the screams you hear when a mother tells you that her child is in danger. We speak of screams that are used to discipline children in some way.

the parents who scream

It is common for this type of action to be seen in couples who had the same upbringing as children. In general, these fathers and mothers defend themselves by saying: “my mother screamed at me all day and nothing happened to me”, “the fact that my father screamed did not make me a bad person” or “my parents told me this was the best way to educate”.

As a result, it is common for parents who are used to shouting to reprimand also shouting to educate. They also tend to play victims, making their children believe they are unhappy because of the actions of the little ones. Thus, they adopt a passive-aggressive posture to inflict fear on children.

Consequences of screams, alternatives and solutions

consequences of screams

• It produces nervous state and emotional imbalance in children. Despite disciplining them, the screams provoke constant fear. Children may come to believe that they are at risk for physical abuse, which puts them in a constant state of alert. They become always nervous and afraid of their own parents.

• Constant screams lose their effect. If parents spend a great deal of time screaming in every stressful situation, in the long run they will lose authority and children are likely to lose respect for them.
• Children mirror this attitude. From birth, parents represent a role model for their children, as they are the only symbols of authority and respect they constantly have. That’s why they will copy whatever they can from the parent’s behavior. If parents scream, they will also scream when they get the chance.

• They are a form of ill-treatment. Child maltreatment is a form of physical, verbal or psychological aggression. In this case, yelling at children for everything, including to discipline them, represents a form of attack because of the consequences it entails.

• Parents look bad in front of society. Parents who often scream are viewed negatively by their neighbors, peers, family members and other individuals. They are usually tagged with nasty nicknames and people lose respect for them.

Not screaming. Alternatives

Undoubtedly, in some cases children can fill their parents’ patience. It may be just for attention or for the sake of creation. However, there are several alternatives to avoid resorting to this bad habit:

• Reflect. It is important for parents not to get carried away by the emotions of the moment; it is recommended to breathe deeply and think objectively. It is also important to channel anger or frustration into activities that contribute to well-being, such as doing yoga.
• Give a break. Sometimes the dynamics of everyday life leave parents in a state of great irritation. Divided between work and household chores, rest time decreases. It is important that parents have their free and fun time. It’s also essential to get enough sleep to avoid getting irritated for this reason.

• Teach your children to dialogue. Regardless of age, children should be listened to and able to express their views and feelings. It is recommended that parents teach their children that dialogue is the ideal way to resolve conflicts.

• Parents are not always right. As human beings, parents are subject to mistakes. Apologizing for mistakes is a good example. Thus, children can realize that parents are not the owners of the truth.
• Try different methods of discipline. There are several alternative ways. Avoiding the most aggressive options for disciplining children is always the right alternative.