Undecided Children: How To Help?
We could say that, during childhood, it is normal not to know what to do or what to decide. However, as parents, we need to help children and encourage them so that they can form their own opinions on different issues. In the following article, we’ll show you how to act when faced with indecisive children.
indecision in children
Children under the age of six who are indecisive is a very frequent reality. They can be torn between choosing one food or another, between one toy or another… Maybe they first order toast for breakfast and, when they see their sibling or parents eating cereal, decide they want it too. It’s not about envy or ‘having what belongs to the other’, it’s about indecision.
When adults consult doctors and those friends who have had children who are undecided about this issue, the most common answer is: “But it’s the most normal thing in the world!”
This is because, at this age, children are still developing their personality, their individuality and their sense of themselves. In other words, they don’t really know what they want and need to try everything.
First, the child will say that he wants something that the parents usually choose, then realize that he would like something else. She is still too young to know whether a decision is right or not. And that’s what adults should take into account.
Indecisive children are not ‘spoiled’ nor do they have behavioral problems. They’re not undisciplined either, and they’re not just wanting Mom’s or Dad’s attention. They just don’t know what to decide because they haven’t tried all the variables yet.
How to help indecisive children
The first step in helping indecisive children has to do with understanding the situation. In other words, it is necessary to consider that, when we are small, we have difficulty in deciding even the most insignificant or everyday things.
However, this does not mean that we should allow our children to spend half an hour in front of the ice cream parlor choosing the flavor of ice cream they want, nor that, as parents, we should insist and ask them to hurry up, because there are many people waiting for theirs. turn.
Is it possible to reach a middle ground? Of course yes. The best way to help is to allow your child to express their opinion and preferences at any time. For example, if we are going to school, she can tell us which clothes she likes to wear or which color is her favorite – certainly the opinion will change periodically.
Another way to help is to narrow down the options to decide. If the child has a huge variety of alternatives available to him, it is more likely that after a while he will still be undecided. So instead of asking, “What do you want to eat?” You can say: “Today we have noodles or hamburgers, which do you prefer?”
Also, it is advisable that you promote your child’s confidence. To do this, do n’t make decisions for him just because you’re in a hurry.
Let’s take the ice cream parlor example again. Suppose the child doesn’t choose the flavor he wants and you tell the employee to give him the chocolate and strawberry ones ‘because they’re your favourites’. Instead of doing the little one a favor, you will be doing him harm, as he will feel that he cannot make decisions for himself and that, no matter what he says, Mom or Dad will end up choosing for him.
At an early age this can be detrimental to personality development. In the future, the child may become less autonomous and find it increasingly difficult to make decisions.
Should children decide everything?
Now, a very common question for parents of indecisive children is: What choice options can I give my child to decide?
Certainly, you can’t ask a five-year-old about fundamental or mandatory things in life, such as where he’s going to school or whether or not he’s going to eat vegetables and fruits. This is not debatable in childhood, and it is necessary to be very strict in this regard.
However, maybe you can let her choose between two or three outfits to take a walk or which toy she wants to take on her beach vacation.
Indecisive children go through this phase better if they have the support of their parents, their patience and, above all, their affection. It is essential that adults encourage children to make their own decisions. Even if they seem like ‘details’ or ‘trifles’, it will be a great achievement for the child and will allow them to increase their self-esteem.
